1. Question: How Can I Prevent Pearl Harbor From Happening?

Smartass Answer: You need a Delorean, a Flux-capacitor and 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity to make that happen.

2. Question: Credit Card (Stuck) In Computer?

Smartass Answer: Turn the computer upside down and shake it.

3. Question: If You Die, What Happens To Your MySpace?

Smartass Answer: It deletes itself. You see when you die a little microchip goes off in your brain and instantly deactivates any accounts you may have. They are inserted a few months after birth, everyone has them.

This was also the best answer chosen by the asker herself!

4. Question: Why Do Stupid People Breed?

Smartass Answer: They wanted company?

5. Question: If A Woman Was To Eat A Lot Of Chocolate, Would Her Breast Milk Taste Like Chocolate Milk?

Smartass Answer: Chocolate breast milk comes from black women.

This was also the best answer chosen by the asker. His comment?

wow never realised this b4, ty

6. Question: How Turn Computer Monitor Into Mirror?

Smartass Answer: Get a can of mirror spray paint, point, and spray.

7. Question: How To Get YouTube To Come Film You?

Smartass Answer: facepalm

This is actually a popular troll question, that has been posted several times on Yahoo! Answers. Meanwhile, the original question was deleted.

8. Question: Why Are Fossilized Clam Shells Found On Mt. Everest?

Smartass Answer: Obviously. Any other suggestion, such as geological uplift of the ancient seabed at points of tectonic plate subduction, would be mere hocus-pocus and superstition.

9. Question: What Is The Country Of Canada All About?

Smartass Answer: Wow, the American education system really is in crisis.

10. Question: Instead Of Simply Worshipping ‘God’, Why Not Worship Godzilla?

Smartass Answer: I choose to worship God because I prefer worshiping real things over movie characters anytime.

This question reminds of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As founder Bobby Henderson says:

With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents—mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.

11. Question: How Do People Hide Large Amounts Of Food In Their Mouth?

Smartass Answer: It’s called Bulimia?

12. Question: Can I Fail A Drug Test By Having Sex The Night Before?

Smartass Answer: You will fail an IQ test.

13. Question: Why Doesn’t The Earth Fall Down?

Smartass Answer: Because it can fly.

Yes, that’s also the best answer selected by the Asker. She didn’t care much for gravity and the sun.

14. Question: Why Did Yahoo! Answers Delete My Question?

Subtitle: Would my cat like the heat from about 15 seconds in the microwave?

Smartass Answer: Try the dryer instead.

15. Question: VERY POPULAR Techno Song?? HELP!!! They Play It In Clubs!!?

Smartass Answer: Sandstorm by Darude.

I’m speechless. People actually knew the answer!

 

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gone as far as it could and it could go no farther.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

 

One day all the employees of a Company reached office and they saw a

big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person

who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We

invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in

the gym'.

 

In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their

colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who

was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company

itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were

ordered to control the crowd within the room.

 

The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.

Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?

Well, at least he died!'.

 

One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when

they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood

nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched

the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin:

everyone who looked inside it could see himself.

 

There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: 'There is only

one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.

You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the

only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and

your  success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your

life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change,

when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company

changes.

 

Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting

beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for

your life.

 

'The most important relationship you can have is the one you have

with yourself'  Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of

difficulties, impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself

and your reality. It's the way you face Life that makes the

difference.

 

"You are the only person on earth who can use your ability!"

 

''SUCCESS IS GOING FROM FAILURE TO FAILURE WITHOUT LOSS OF ENTHUSIASM.''

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the Problem Science has 
with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .

Professor :

You are Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor : My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. 
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. 
But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor : You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella. 
Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor : Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor : So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? 
All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor : So, who Created them ? 

(Student had no answer)

Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. 
Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor : Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? 
Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor : Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, 
Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor : Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor : Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, 
a Little Heat or No Heat. 
But we don't have anything called Cold. 
We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. 
There is no such thing as Cold. 
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. 
We cannot Measure Cold. 
Heat is Energy. 
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir.
Darkness is the Absence of Something
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it?
In reality, Darkness isn't.
If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor : So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor : Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.
You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.
You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.
It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that 
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. 
Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it. 
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and 
Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavour, 
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? 
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain? 
(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .
No one appears to have done so. 
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, 
Science says that You have No Brain, sir. 
With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?
(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. 

That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

 

Going to church every Sunday ............. ..
Going to Mosque every Friday ............... 
Going to Temple every Saturday .......... ...

 

 

Every second of our lives we are making decisions without pondering for a while… read this…

 

 

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.
The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?    
Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make........ ........

Once you made your decision then only read down……………..

 

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, everyone thinks the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office,  in politics and especially in a democratic society. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

 

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.  

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one .

 

"Remember that what's right isn't always popular ... and what's popular isn't always right ."

 

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Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils