Cartoons based on common wealth games..
1. Question: How Can I Prevent Pearl Harbor From Happening?
Smartass Answer: You need a Delorean, a Flux-capacitor and 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity to make that happen.
2. Question: Credit Card (Stuck) In Computer?
Smartass Answer: Turn the computer upside down and shake it.
3. Question: If You Die, What Happens To Your MySpace?
Smartass Answer: It deletes itself. You see when you die a little microchip goes off in your brain and instantly deactivates any accounts you may have. They are inserted a few months after birth, everyone has them.
This was also the best answer chosen by the asker herself!
4. Question: Why Do Stupid People Breed?
Smartass Answer: They wanted company?
5. Question: If A Woman Was To Eat A Lot Of Chocolate, Would Her Breast Milk Taste Like Chocolate Milk?
Smartass Answer: Chocolate breast milk comes from black women.
This was also the best answer chosen by the asker. His comment?
wow never realised this b4, ty
6. Question: How Turn Computer Monitor Into Mirror?
Smartass Answer: Get a can of mirror spray paint, point, and spray.
7. Question: How To Get YouTube To Come Film You?
Smartass Answer: facepalm
This is actually a popular troll question, that has been posted several times on Yahoo! Answers. Meanwhile, the original question was deleted.
8. Question: Why Are Fossilized Clam Shells Found On Mt. Everest?
Smartass Answer: Obviously. Any other suggestion, such as geological uplift of the ancient seabed at points of tectonic plate subduction, would be mere hocus-pocus and superstition.
9. Question: What Is The Country Of Canada All About?
Smartass Answer: Wow, the American education system really is in crisis.
10. Question: Instead Of Simply Worshipping ‘God’, Why Not Worship Godzilla?
Smartass Answer: I choose to worship God because I prefer worshiping real things over movie characters anytime.
This question reminds of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As founder Bobby Henderson says:
With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents—mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.
11. Question: How Do People Hide Large Amounts Of Food In Their Mouth?
Smartass Answer: It’s called Bulimia?
12. Question: Can I Fail A Drug Test By Having Sex The Night Before?
Smartass Answer: You will fail an IQ test.
13. Question: Why Doesn’t The Earth Fall Down?
Smartass Answer: Because it can fly.
Yes, that’s also the best answer selected by the Asker. She didn’t care much for gravity and the sun.
14. Question: Why Did Yahoo! Answers Delete My Question?
Subtitle: Would my cat like the heat from about 15 seconds in the microwave?
Smartass Answer: Try the dryer instead.
15. Question: VERY POPULAR Techno Song?? HELP!!! They Play It In Clubs!!?
Smartass Answer: Sandstorm by Darude.
I’m speechless. People actually knew the answer!
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gone as far as it could and it could go no farther.
Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.
The original side of CWG Delhi… Will be spellbound to see that our country is hosting such a big event….
CWG Stadiums, Delhi, India
If you want to kill a tree, don’t cut it, just curse it! The same seems to be happening with CWG.
Friends, successful completion of CWG is a must for the athletes around the world…there has been so much negative publicity about it….let’s support the games now, and for sure it doesn’t mean that we support the corruption involved with it!!!!
One day all the employees of a Company reached office and they saw a
big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person
who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We
invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in
the gym'.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their
colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who
was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company
itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were
ordered to control the crowd within the room.
The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?
Well, at least he died!'.
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when
they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood
nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched
the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.
There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: 'There is only
one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the
only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and
your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your
life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change,
when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company
changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting
beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for
your life.
'The most important relationship you can have is the one you have
with yourself' Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of
difficulties, impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself
and your reality. It's the way you face Life that makes the
difference.
"You are the only person on earth who can use your ability!"
''SUCCESS IS GOING FROM FAILURE TO FAILURE WITHOUT LOSS OF ENTHUSIASM.''
‘you have done a brilliant work Rajesh. You have been given….rrrrhhhhh……Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh………… Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh.’- what!! I woke up from a sudden jerk. ‘Raaajeeessshhh….’…I heard my wife yelling.
What’s wrong with her? Always yelling for something or the other. I can’t be in peace even in my dreams. Shucks!! Angrily, I kicked my blanket and got down. ‘Raaajesssh….’ ‘Coming Meera..what’s wron with you. Why are you shouting like this..’.
I hurried down the stairs. I saw Meera, my sweet(??!!) wife, sitting in the couch giving breakfast to my 7yr old daughter Achala. Both looked happy, watching TV. I got confused at the whole scenario. I came running down, expecting some kind of earthquake, but instead here everything was in place. I looked at my wife & daughter. She smiled at me back. Now, I more got confused, what’s happening here? Am I in a dream?
‘Meera…’
‘Yeah Rajesh…’
‘You called me. In fact yelled.’
‘Yes. You are right!’
‘Everything is fine here right? Why you screamed like that then…’
‘It’s ‘cos it’s going to be 8am now.’
I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. Is she playing some kind of prank? Is this the time for all these? I have to be in office by 9am for a meeting.
‘Yes. It’s going to be 8am.Right! So…?’
‘Rajesh, don’t tell me, you forgot…today is 27th ‘
‘27th..What 27th?
‘Don’t tell me you don’t remember?’
Meera gave me an ‘I’ll kill you’ look. Is it her birthday? No it’s somewhere at the year end. Is it my daughter’s? No no , we celebrated last month only right. Got it. Should be our Anniversary.
‘Hey Meera, How will I forget our Anniversary…’
‘Whaattttttt????….Anniversaryyyyy???…..’
Got it. It’s not our anniversary. Before I get killed…What’s w/ 27th. What ?? what?? Come on Rajesh!! Think. Nothing hit my mind. I looked at my daughter for a clue. She turned her face away. What’s with all women? Why can’t they be straight forward & say things. With so much work pressure, how on earth I am supposed to remember all the dates?. If I say something, then Meera will pick up a fight, and I will miss the meeting, my whole day will be gone. I made up my mind to surrender.
‘Meera, Sorry, I don’t remember. This medicine I am taking for cough, Something happened..my memory is deteriorating ..What’s today?’ Meera doesn’t seem like buying that excuse from me.
’Meera, please tell me’ I asked in a pitiable tone..
‘Rajesh..You don’t remember at all?’ I moved my head left & right meaning NO. I kept my face like I am a patient suffering from ‘amnesia'.
'Rajesh, As part of annual day celebrations, today is 'Daddy's Day' in Acchu's school. I have been telling you for the past 3 weeks. Now don’t tell me you forgot. You already promised that you will go with her to her school'
I couldn’t believe that I accepted for something like that. 'Meeraa..did I??'
'Yes. You did'
‘at what time it starts..?'
'By 8:30am and ends at 1pm'.
Gosh!! 9am!! I have such a critical meeting. How I will attend all these.
“Meera, you could have reminded me yesterday right?’
‘Oh I didn’t remind you? Great. I didn’t call to your office. Or remind you in the evening and before going to bed’
Might be I wouldn’t have heard it. Or slipped out of my memory. What ever!!
'Meera! Can’t you attend all these. Why should I??'
"Rajesh. It’s Daddy's Day!...DADDY'ss!!!!!'
'Oh yeah....but...'
'But what????...'
'errrh....might be some other day...'
'What? You want the school to postpone the function?'
'No..No…actually..what..I am saying is..'
'What Rajesh??? What?? Tell me. You promised Acchu and are you going to disappoint her? '
I stood there totally helpless. I looked at my daughter. She was all dressed up and ready to go. She looked like, she will cry any time. I saw Meera. She gave me a murderous look. I thought for a moment and my mind raced with many calculations. Important meeting. I can’t miss for sure. Half a day is too much. So many deliverables will get affected. I can’t face Meera again if I don’t go. Might be I can postpone the meeting by an hour and for name sake visit that function and escape to office.
'Meera, I will go, but I can spend only 1 hour..'
'No...that’s not..'
Before Meera finished the sentence, Acchu rushed to me 'Thanks daddy. 1hour. Mom, 1hour is enough mom. Please don’t fight mom. Daddy, get ready soon..' she nudged me.
‘Do you know her school name and the route for the school or you want me to tell???’ Asking that Meera threw me an angry look and left the living room. I rushed up, got ready. Called my manager & told that I got stuck in traffic jam and postponed the meeting to 10am.
I took Achala to her school. I felt somehow entering the school, ‘cos it’s the 2nd time, I am entering her school. In fact 1st time. I once dropped her outside her school gate. The school had a big playground,
‘Are you achala’s daddy?’ – A small kid asked. She had curly hair and bubbly smile.
‘Yes,,,My Daddy..…’ – Achala responded in an excited tone. And some kids ran towards me and Achala started introducing everyone.
‘Daddy! this is Rohit, this is zakir, Anis, Sylvia, Divya..’ – I told hello to everyone.
‘Daddy, Daddy, Zakir is my best friend.’ – I smiled at that cute blue eyed boy.
‘Uncle, Acchu told that you have so much work and you won’t be able to come. She told she won’t come in today. You don’t have work Uncle?’ – Zakir asked me.
I suddenly felt very bad on how my daughter has understood me. ‘No Zakir, I don’t have work’
‘Daddy, they are calling for the games. ‘ . Zakir ran to his father and waved his hands at me & achala. I took achala by hand and walked towards the stage. They were announcing the 1st game. Fathers will be given a sheet containing questions about their kids. Fathers have to fill about their kids which will be verified with the kids response.
Achala was all excited about the game and she was all set to go. But I felt shivers. I looked at my daughter. Suddenly, I felt very far from her, and the reality hit me, that I don’t know anything about my very own daughter. I blurted out ‘Acchu..we will attend the next game..This one ..’ She gave me a deep stare. I thought she is going to cry or shout or do something. But instead she pulled out a small paper from her jeans pocket and gave it to me. Completely baffled, I opened the sheet.
My name is Achala. My birthday March 21st. I am 7yrs old. I like butterfly. Superman. Dairy milk. painting. dancing. I am in 1st standard A section. I like Dora. Mango. Apple. Fried rice. Jelly. I don’t like banana. I drink boost.. I like yellow color. My nick name is ‘Honey dew’
And the list went on with small, small spelling mistakes. I looked at Acchu. ‘Daddy, read it, I know they will keep this game. So I wrote it 2 days back itself, to give you if you come. If they ask anything about me, write there. Ok Now go & attend the game’. Most of the things, my daughter has written & gave me, I never knew anything about it. I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I went to the stage waved my hand to Acchu and got the question sheet. Since Acchu gave the sheet, I came to know about her & I answered almost all the questions. Then they asked Acchu on stage and asked the questions to her. We got the 2nd highest mark in that game. Acchu came running towards me and hugged me. They gave a ‘toy guitar’. Everyone congratulated us. Thou’ I won that game, I felt like a loser. I know, I don’t deserve this. I don’t know anything about my daughter.
She looked very happy showing that guitar to her best friend, zakir. What a kid she is. Understanding that her dad is totally hopeless and don’t want to let her dad down, before others she prepared that sheet and gave to me. The lump in my throat started getting bigger and my heart became heavy. I caressed her hair. What a beautiful smile she has and such big eyes. Does she miss a wing to get qualified as an angel? I have never admired my daughter or even watched her in all these years. She has that cute dimple of Meera’s as well as her eyes. Does that curling lip edges when she smiles, is mine? How I missed all this in my life.
Achala pulled me to the stalls there and I got some eatables and balloons for her and zakir.. She kept talking about the next game and suddenly my mobile rang. Oops!! Is it already 10am. I looked at Acchu . Suddenly her face became dark. She looked totally upset and asked in an low voice ‘Daddy! You have to leave now?’
I looked at my mobile. My manager was calling. It’s already 10am. I looked at Acchu. I looked around. All those happy kids with their fathers. I thought about my school days, where my dad used to come for all sports day, annual day, sit with me, cheer me up. Every day morning, while dropping me to school, he will wait near the gate until my head disappear. Evening, he will come & pick me up in his cycle, and I will be telling him all the stories that happened that day in school.
I saw Acchu. How many untold stories my daughter has kept in her heart to say me? I thought about all those days, where I yearned for a girl child and I wonder, how much of my time I gave her.
I pulled her closer, gave a kiss on her fore head ‘No Honey! I am not going. I will be here only…we will attend all games and roam around whole day.ok?’
‘Really?’ – She asked in an unbelievable tone.
‘Yes sweetz’
‘Thank you Daddy!’ – Achala kissed my cheeks and ran to her friends. School teaches you something or the other always. This time, ‘back to school’ has taught me a wonderful life’s lesson. I called my manager & told that am running high fever and can’t come in today. I know, I can handle things tomorrow. Today my daughter needs me more than anyone can need me in this world. With a lighter heart, I got up; ran towards Acchu, lifted her and gave her a big swing. She erupted into an uncontrollable laughter.
The lump in my throat started melting away.
Look At The Food They Bought For One Week and The Number Of Persons In The Family
GERMANY:
The Melander family of Bargteheide - 2 adults , 2 teenagers
Food expenditure for one week: 375.39 Euros or $500.07 
UNITED STATES:
The Revis family of North Carolina - 2 adults , 2 teenagers
Food expenditure for one week: $341.98 
JAPAN:
The Ukita family of Kodaira City - 2 adults , 2 teenagers
Food expenditure for one week: 37 , 699 Yen or $317.25 
ITALY:
The Manzo family of Sicily - 2 adults , 3 kids
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 Euros or $260.11 
MEXICO:
The Casales family of Cuernavaca - 2 adults , 3 kids
Food expenditure for one week: 1 , 862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09 
POLAND:
The Sobczynscy family of Konstancin-Jeziorna - 4 adults , 1 teenager
Food expenditure for one week: 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27 
EGYPT:
The Ahmed family of Cairo - 7 adults , 5 kids
Food expenditure for one week: 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53 
ECUADOR:
The Ayme family of Tingo - 4 adults , 5 teenagers
Food expenditure for one week: $31.55 
BHUTAN:
The Namgay family of Shingkhey Village - 7 adults , 6 kids
Food expenditure for one week: 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03 
CHAD:
The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp - 3 adults , 3 kids
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA Francs or $1.23
