1. Question: How Can I Prevent Pearl Harbor From Happening?
Smartass Answer: You need a Delorean, a Flux-capacitor and 1.21 Gigawatts of electricity to make that happen.
2. Question: Credit Card (Stuck) In Computer?
Smartass Answer: Turn the computer upside down and shake it.
3. Question: If You Die, What Happens To Your MySpace?
Smartass Answer: It deletes itself. You see when you die a little microchip goes off in your brain and instantly deactivates any accounts you may have. They are inserted a few months after birth, everyone has them.
This was also the best answer chosen by the asker herself!
4. Question: Why Do Stupid People Breed?
Smartass Answer: They wanted company?
5. Question: If A Woman Was To Eat A Lot Of Chocolate, Would Her Breast Milk Taste Like Chocolate Milk?
Smartass Answer: Chocolate breast milk comes from black women.
This was also the best answer chosen by the asker. His comment?
wow never realised this b4, ty
6. Question: How Turn Computer Monitor Into Mirror?
Smartass Answer: Get a can of mirror spray paint, point, and spray.
7. Question: How To Get YouTube To Come Film You?
Smartass Answer: facepalm
This is actually a popular troll question, that has been posted several times on Yahoo! Answers. Meanwhile, the original question was deleted.
8. Question: Why Are Fossilized Clam Shells Found On Mt. Everest?
Smartass Answer: Obviously. Any other suggestion, such as geological uplift of the ancient seabed at points of tectonic plate subduction, would be mere hocus-pocus and superstition.
9. Question: What Is The Country Of Canada All About?
Smartass Answer: Wow, the American education system really is in crisis.
10. Question: Instead Of Simply Worshipping ‘God’, Why Not Worship Godzilla?
Smartass Answer: I choose to worship God because I prefer worshiping real things over movie characters anytime.
This question reminds of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As founder Bobby Henderson says:
With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents—mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.
11. Question: How Do People Hide Large Amounts Of Food In Their Mouth?
Smartass Answer: It’s called Bulimia?
12. Question: Can I Fail A Drug Test By Having Sex The Night Before?
Smartass Answer: You will fail an IQ test.
13. Question: Why Doesn’t The Earth Fall Down?
Smartass Answer: Because it can fly.
Yes, that’s also the best answer selected by the Asker. She didn’t care much for gravity and the sun.
14. Question: Why Did Yahoo! Answers Delete My Question?
Subtitle: Would my cat like the heat from about 15 seconds in the microwave?
Smartass Answer: Try the dryer instead.
15. Question: VERY POPULAR Techno Song?? HELP!!! They Play It In Clubs!!?
Smartass Answer: Sandstorm by Darude.
I’m speechless. People actually knew the answer!
One day all the employees of a Company reached office and they saw a
big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person
who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We
invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in
the gym'.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their
colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who
was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company
itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were
ordered to control the crowd within the room.
The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?
Well, at least he died!'.
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when
they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood
nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched
the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.
There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: 'There is only
one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the
only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and
your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your
life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change,
when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company
changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting
beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for
your life.
'The most important relationship you can have is the one you have
with yourself' Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of
difficulties, impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself
and your reality. It's the way you face Life that makes the
difference.
"You are the only person on earth who can use your ability!"
''SUCCESS IS GOING FROM FAILURE TO FAILURE WITHOUT LOSS OF ENTHUSIASM.''
When you click on the Tweet Button, a pop-up box containing a shortened link of the item, you want to share, will appear. You can add a line of text also. After posting on Twitter, the website may suggest you some accounts to follow.It has made the task dead simple for the publishers too. Create a customizable Tweet button for your blog with a few clicks. Three types of Tweet buttons are available there under the “Button” tab. These are with vertical, horizontal and without retweet count.
Under the “Tweet text” option, you can add your own text. Otherwise the title of the page, you want to share, will be posted by default.
The URL of the page is the default one. However, you can suggest another URL too.
The new Tweet button is available in five languages like English, French, German, Spanish and Japanese.
A preview will be shown before you grab the single line code to use.
Just copy and paste the code into the HTML for your website wherever you want it to appear.
Websites like Ask.com, CNN, Time.com and YouTube have already started to use this new Tweet button. Start using yours too.
Source: blogsolute.com
Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Capgemini method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!
HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
PATNI Method:
After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
.............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
...................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
...........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE... :-) :-) :-)
This is how software engineers die in India.
Definitions of Designations:
Have a Great weekend......... Keep Smiling.......... |
