To Juliet,
Dearest Ms..........,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you. Since the
14th of February (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on
13th of February at 1500 hours, I would like present myself as a prospective
lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and
depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon
completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to from lover to spouse.
The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared
equally between us. Later, based upon your performance, I might take up a
larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough, to be taken
care of all your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter,
failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I
shall be considering someone else.
I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do
not want to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Modern Romeo.
One day all the employees of a Company reached office and they saw a
big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person
who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We
invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in
the gym'.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their
colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who
was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company
itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were
ordered to control the crowd within the room.
The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?
Well, at least he died!'.
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when
they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood
nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched
the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.
There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: 'There is only
one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the
only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and
your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your
life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change,
when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company
changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting
beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for
your life.
'The most important relationship you can have is the one you have
with yourself' Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of
difficulties, impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself
and your reality. It's the way you face Life that makes the
difference.
"You are the only person on earth who can use your ability!"
''SUCCESS IS GOING FROM FAILURE TO FAILURE WITHOUT LOSS OF ENTHUSIASM.''
Just read what INDIA was as per LORD MACAULAY on his statement on 2nd February 1835, in this historic snap. That would really shock us..
It reads….
“ I have travelled across the length and breadth of India and i have not seen one person who is a beggar, who is a thief. such wealth i have seen in this country, such high moral values, people of such calibre, that i do not think we would ever conquer this country, unless we break the very backbone of this nation, which is her spiritual and cultural heritage and therefore i propose that we replace her old and ancient education system, her culture for if the Indians think that all that is foreign and English is good and greater than their own, they will loose their self esteem their native culture and they will become what we want them, we truly dominated nation”
But now An Indian owns Britain's East India Company…..
The East India Company which ruled India for more than 200 years is now ruled by an Indian Sanjiv Mehta who took over the company for $150 lac.
He said” at an emotional level as an Indian, when you think with your heart as I do, I had this huge feeling of redemption - this indescribable feeling of owning a company that once owned us”
Its true that the English men succeeded in their attempt to conquer India, yet a day will come when Indians realise their real potential. Because, Indians are the only ones who got independent with pure non violent protests.
Hotel offers free meal to guests who are willing to generate electricity
The Crown Plaza Hotel in Copenhagen , Denmark , is offering a free meal to any guest who is able to produce electricity for the hotel on an exercise bike attached to a generator. Guests will have to produce at least 10 watt hours of electricity - roughly 15 minutes of cycling for someone of average fitness. They will then be given meal vouchers worth $36 (26 euros).
All the flashing strobes and pounding speakers at the dance club are massive consumers of electrical power. So Bar Surya, in London, re-outfitted its floor with springs that, when compressed by dancers, could produce electrical current that would be stored in batteries and used to offset some of the club's electrical burden. The club's owner, Andrew Charalambous, said the dance floor can now power 60 percent of the club's energy needs.
Who says printers only use paper to print documents? It's time for you to meet the PrePeat Printer then. Different from conventional printers, PrePeat adopts a thermal head to print on specially-made plastic sheets. These plastic sheets are not merely water-proof, but could be easily erased, just feed the sheets through the printer again, and a different temperature will erase everything or just write over it. Also claimed by the manufacturer, such one sheet could be used up to 1,000 times so that you'll reduce your expenses on paper for sure.
Green design is an enormously popular trend in modern architecture, just take a look at this amazing green roof at the School of Art , Design and Media at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore . This 5-story facility sweeps a wooded corner of the campus with an organic, vegetated form that blends landscape and structure, nature and high-tech and symbolizes the creativity it houses. The roofs serve as informal gathering spaces challenging linear ideas and stirring perception. The roofs create open space, insulate the building, cool the surrounding air and harvest rainwater for landscaping irrigation. Planted grasses mix with native greenery to colonize the building and bond it to the setting.
Made of polished stained concrete, the Zen Garden Sink has a channel that allows the water used while washing your hands to water a plant. Created by young Montreal designer Jean-Michel Gauvreau the sink comes in single or double basin model. The sink is designed in a way you won't get your plants all soapy. There is a main drain at the bottom of the basin for soapy grime. Your little plant friend just gets whatever you choose to dole out.
20% of our total domestic energy usage is from hot water for showering and bathing. That's over 6 times the energy usage of domestic lighting. So designer Tommaso Colia came up with his eco-friendly shower design that will force you to get out when you take too long and waste much water. The eco_drop shower features beautiful concentric circles that will rise to force you to stop showering when you take too long, and accordingly save water.
Teaching the importance of energy conservation is the goal of this design from Tim Holley. He calls it Tio, and it's a ghost-shaped light switch that gives kids a visual reminder of how much energy they've used by leaving lights on. Tio starts out green and smiling. If the light is left on for more than four hours, he turns yellow and looks shocked. And if you dare to leave that light on for more than eight hours, sweet little Tio turns into a raging red hulk, complete with frowny mouth and angry eyes. But he won't just visually remind your kids about their energy habits; information from the light switch is sent to Tio's computer program so the entire family can see how they're doing. In a brilliant piece of visual positive reinforcement, Holley's program lets kids grow a “virtual tree†which gets bigger and healthier the more energy they save.
Staples are supposed to be so bad to the environment that a company decided to create a staple-free stapler. This product promises to make collation eco-friendly. Instead of using those thin metal planet-killers, the staple-free stapler "cuts out tiny strips of paper and uses the strips to stitch up to five pieces of paper together." You can even order them customized with your corporate logo so you can, you know, brag about what your company is doing to stop the staple epidemic.
WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS? - Azim Premji,
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.
Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. "My learning curve is the sharpest it's ever been," he said soon after he joined.
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave ?
Mark quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called "First Break All The Rules". It came up with this surprising finding:
Mostly manager drives people away?
HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave,but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.
When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: "If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don 't have your heart and soul in the job."
Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.
Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Capgemini method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!
HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
PATNI Method:
After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
.............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
...................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
...........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE... :-) :-) :-)
This is how software engineers die in India.
Height of Frustration:
He sent this mail to the Board of Directors of Infosys and cc to N.Murthy... (And got fired..obviously) It resembles the Infosys jobs ad in newspapers
What Jain Says:
I couldn’t verify the information but there is a wide spread rumor about a guy like this.. Any way, it spreads smile!!!
