Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Capgemini method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!
HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
PATNI Method:
After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
.............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
...................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
...........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE... :-) :-) :-)
This is how software engineers die in India.
MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A Bachelor GUY
|
| First Week | Second Week | Third Week | Fourth Week |
| a) Bank Balance | 20000 | 2000 | 200 | 20 |
| b) Conveyance | Auto ("I can afford it") | Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!") | Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport") | Walk ("Good for health") |
| c) Girl Friends | Eena , Meena & Tina ("I can BUY love") | Meena &Tina ("I have enough girl friends") | Tina ("I am loyal to her") | "Huh! There is no pure love on earth!" |
| d) Mobile Maintenance | Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for") | Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines") | Rare outgoing calls (" Mobile should be used in urgent situations only") | Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me") |
| e) Boozing | "Come, let's go to Goa and freak out! | "Man, there is nothing in Goa . Let's go to Mysore .." | "The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?" | "Drinking is injurious to health." |
MONTHLY MILESTONES of a Single Girl
|
| First Week | Second Week | Third Week | Fourth Week |
| a) Bank Balance | 20000 | 20000 | 20000 | 20000 |
| b) Conveyance | Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it") | Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it") | Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it") | Auto ("after all my boy friend pays f or it") |
| c) Boy Friends | Abhinav , saleem, Peter | Sachin, sumeet, vinay | Abhijeet, Ram, christopher. .. | Arun , Saket, vimal.. |
| d) Mobile Maintenance | Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me) | Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me) | Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me) | Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me) |
| e) Boozing | "Come, let's go to Goa | "Come, let's go to Kulu | "Come, let's go to Shimla | "Come, let's go to darj ee ling |
Source: BBC:
India is to have a new symbol for its currency, the rupee, after the government approved the winning entry in a national competition.
The symbol is a cross between the Roman letter R and its Hindi equivalent, and was designed by a teacher at the Indian Institute of Technology.
A panel of artists, officials and bankers picked the new design.
The Indian government hopes it will soon be as recognisable as the dollar, the pound or the euro.
The winning entry was one of five shortlisted in the public competition announced in March 2009. Designers were given a brief to come up with a symbol that captures the ethos and culture of India.
