It Happens!!

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I was in flight, was going to onsite once again. and as usual i was very happy… plane took me to the sky. i looked outside the window, nice evening scene, feels like heaven.

i just lost myself in that beauty.

 

Someone's voice disturbed me "excuse me sir, would you like to have something?"   i turned back, and was surprise to see my beautiful old schoolmate, Saakshi.

 

"Hey Saakshi, is that you, how come you... wow, you looks still the same, pretty.. in this Air-hostess suit"

"Saurabh, wo.....w, I cant believe this is you.. ohh sorry I am on my job, will talk to you later"

 

She left smile on my face.

 

I couldn't believe in my eyes, It reminded me my school days memories. How crazy i was about her, always followed her after the school, wrote love letters, but never dared to give one of them. Always looking at her in the class, from last bench. she was the queen of our class. I fought with 2-3 other guys for her, how stupid I was.   I couldn't stop myself, looking at her again, I was amazed to see that, she became more beautiful then she were at school. she too looked at me and smile, then she said something to her fellow air-hostess, then they both started smiling.

 

I was clueless that what happened. her colleague was also damn pretty. Oh my god, today you fulfil one of my dream. I thought of going there and having chat with her, but i knew that, its her job, so I stopped myself.

again started looking outside the window. we were above the clouds making an awesome scene outside, also inside, because of her smile.

 

I got some courage, and pretended that I am going towards toilet. I looked at her, she understood what I desired. she came toward me and said : "extremely sorry yaar, I couldn't talk to you much, so say how are you, where have you been these many years, and what's your success story? for what purpose you are going?"

 

"hmmm... i was always there, it was you who left everything after school, i searched you, so many places wherever i could, but no existence of you. then i completed my college, got a job in such a nice company, i didn't know, my company will give me this much, still i m going for an onsite job, don't know when will return back. you know, i got everything in my life except someone, with whom i can actually share my world, my success.

 

Someone..."

 

I looked straight into her eyes.. those blue eyes, i think she got the answer, who is that 'someone'

with some pain in her eyes, she said, "sorry got to go,will give you my number"

 

I again, sat back to my seat,very silent, looking outside, and hoping some answer.

it was dark outside by that time, some thunder in cloud, just like inside my heart. then suddenly, plane started getting hiccups.. everyone got scared.. i saw Saakshi running towards mic, she made an announcement, that don't be panic as they are facing a storm outside. but plane started shaking badly, everyone started feeling its the last moment of their lives...

 

I keep on watching Saakshi, and she to me...

 

Then something hit my back hard.. and there was a complete darkness in front of me..

deep silent, but i could still feel the shaking plane, and people's scream..

 

then someone shouted... 'Saaaauuuuraaabhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!'

  "Saurabh, wake up you are again sleeping in office, wake up, i need that report urgently"

Damn.. I looked here-there, same ODC, no Onsite, no plane.. no Saakshi..

 

I stared at my PM in anger.. Because of you only, that plane crashed!!

 

I STILL DONT KNOW, WHY IT HAPPENS DAILY BETWEEN 2PM TO 3PM!!!. 

Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......

TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration

 

Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......

IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:
hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....

Capgemini method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....

Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!

HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die

 

PATNI Method:
After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …

THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST

INFOSYS METHOD:

HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
.............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
...................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
...........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE... :-) :-) :-)
 

This is how software engineers die in India.

 

MONTHLY MILESTONES OF A Bachelor GUY

 

	First Week	Second Week	Third Week	Fourth Week
a) Bank Balance	20000	2000	200	20
b) Conveyance	Auto ("I can afford it")	Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")	Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")	Walk ("Good for health")
c) Girl Friends	Eena , Meena & Tina ("I can BUY love")	Meena &Tina ("I have enough girl friends")	Tina ("I am loyal to her")	"Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"
d) Mobile Maintenance	Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")	Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")	Rare outgoing calls (" Mobile should be used in urgent situations only")	Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me")
e) Boozing	"Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!	"Man, there is nothing in Goa . Let's go to Mysore .."	"The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?"	"Drinking is injurious to health."

 

 

MONTHLY MILESTONES of a Single Girl

 

	First Week	Second Week	Third Week	Fourth Week
a) Bank Balance	20000	20000	20000	20000
b) Conveyance	Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")	Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")	Auto ("after all my boy friend pays for it")	Auto ("after all my boy friend pays f or it")
c) Boy Friends	Abhinav , saleem, Peter	Sachin, sumeet, vinay	Abhijeet, Ram, christopher. ..	Arun , Saket, vimal..
d) Mobile Maintenance	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)	Only Incoming calls (Its for ppl 2 call me)
e) Boozing	"Come, let's go to Goa	"Come, let's go to Kulu	"Come, let's go to Shimla	"Come, let's go to darj ee ling