One day all the employees of a Company reached office and they saw a
big notice on the door on which was written: 'Yesterday the person
who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We
invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in
the gym'.
In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their
colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who
was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company
itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were
ordered to control the crowd within the room.
The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up.
Everyone thought: 'Who is this guy who was hindering my progress?
Well, at least he died!'.
One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when
they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood
nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched
the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin:
everyone who looked inside it could see himself.
There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: 'There is only
one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the
only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and
your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your
life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change,
when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company
changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting
beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for
your life.
'The most important relationship you can have is the one you have
with yourself' Examine yourself, watch yourself. Don't be afraid of
difficulties, impossibilities and losses: be a winner, build yourself
and your reality. It's the way you face Life that makes the
difference.
"You are the only person on earth who can use your ability!"
''SUCCESS IS GOING FROM FAILURE TO FAILURE WITHOUT LOSS OF ENTHUSIASM.''
Very Good Article on Late sitting -
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Cognizant Method:
hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
give them same gobi 65 to eat
hire 200 more....... and more .......
TCS method:
hire a lion
give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
lion dies of hunger and frustration
Accenture Method:
Hire a lion....
Send him to chennai
Ask him to stay on bench for a long time
Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada
No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...
No good food, No water.
And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".
Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion......
IBM's metbod:
hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
he dies of unemployment...
Syntel Method:-
Hire a Cat ...
assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and
make sure that he never reaches onsite.
Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....
MBT method:
hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.
lion dies of the strain?
i-Flex method:
hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari
for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes
alive he will get band movement (promotion)
holy cow dies in fear of the real lion
COSL Method:
hire a lion .
tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....
Polaris Method :
hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..
change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....
Capgemini method:
hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
the lion dies before joining....
Wipro Method:
Hire a Lion,
give him a mail Id.
he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!
HUAWEI Method:
Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
Give him work of 3 Lions
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
No time for food and family, automatically die
PATNI Method:
After joining when the Lion comes to know the full form of PATNI as …
… Pathetic Appraisal Technique & No Increment
Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
He gets frustrated and dies slowly …
THE LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST
INFOSYS METHOD:
HIRE A LION.....
SEND HIM FOR TRAINING IN MYSORE AND MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE
....................................................KING OF THE JUNGLE!
MAKE HIM TAKE GENERIC COMPREE EXAM
.............................................LION TURNS INTO CAT
MAKE HIM TAKE STREAM COMPREE EXAM
...................................................CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE
SEND HIM INTO PRODUCTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WID HE LEARNED IN TRNG
...........................................MOUSE RUNS HERE AND THERE FOR HELP!!!
SEND HIM MAILS TELLING ABOUT MANDATORY CERTIFICATIONS
.................................................MOUSE COMMITS SUICIDE... :-) :-) :-)
This is how software engineers die in India.
How? The other beggar asked.
